As a Marketer, you must possess many skills — adaptability, organizational skills, creativity, communication skills, etc.

But what happens when you’re having a day where you feel like a zombie and you can’t seem to keep your head on straight? Should you go running for the hills or stare that demon in the face?

Everyone messes up once in a while so there’s no need to dig your grave just yet. We’ve come up with a few tricks to some of the freakiest phrases a Marketer can hear.

“Your 1,500 word blog post has had 3 views.”

This could make you want to rip your hair out! All that time it took to research, gather links and create wicked images. Not to mention the editing and re-editing to get the post just right. And only three people came across your content? Boo! 

Try this:

Find the Optimal Times to Post Your Content

Here’s an infographic, courtesy of Hubspot, on the ideal times to post, pin and tweet your spellbinding content. 

If You’re Tweeting Your Post, Add Images

Studies have shown that a tweet with an image gets 150% retweets. Check out Spuce to help you out with the graphics and image dimensions. 

Your Headlines

You generally only have a few seconds to grab someone’s attention. The best headlines are those that promise the reader a benefit.

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“You spelled the word ‘werewolf’ wrong in your tweet.”

Typos — eeek, they’re just horrifying! What do you do when you’ve spelt something wrong in your tweet that just went out to 6,660 followers? It would be a simple fix if Twitter would just add an editing feature but for now, the only option you have is to delete the tweet and compose it again, without errors.

Try this too:

Grammar and Spelling Tools

Add Grammarly as a browser extension. Like a ghost, this little guy is floating in the background ready to point out the second you spell werewolf, wherewolf.

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“The email to 10k people had “To {{Name}}” in it.”

What are the chances that some of these people have the name, Name?

Try this:

Send Test Emails

Send a test email to a co-worker. Get a second pair of eyeballs looking over the copy to see if everything looks like magic. Send a test email to yourself too. There’s no secret potion but to triple check your emails before sending them en masse to your subscribers.

“The WiFi isn’t working at the conference.”

I’m no wizard here but it’s hard to understand why this is continually a problem. Every conference I have attended has had limited WiFi and everyone is competing for it. As a Marketer, this puts you dead in the water.

How do you connect on Linkedin? How do you do a quick search of someone’s company? How do you update your learnings on your Twitter feed?

Biz Cards

Bringing business cards might seem old ghoul in this day and age but it’s at least a way to allow yourself an opportunity to connect later.

Gimme a Break

Take a break and check out a cafe close by; they all offer free WiFi these days. You’d be surprised, you might run into fellow conference goers having the same pain and have a more meaningful conversation in a quieter environment, one-on-one. While you’re at it, update your twitter feed and creep on that company.

“Your email newsletter only got a 1% click rate.”

Did a black cat just cross your path? What could you be doing wrong?


No need to get superstitious, just make sure the important links are at the beginning of your email body; you’ll have a much better chance of getting clicks. Also make sure they’re to the point so your reader doesn’t waste their time.


Just like a landing page, don’t have too many calls-to-actions. The emails you’re sending should have one ‘Big Ask’ if you want your click-rate to go up and your bad luck to stay at bay.

Use Buttons and Images

Constant Contact provides this tutorial on creating frighteningly effective images for your email marketing. And if you’re a customer of theirs, you have the ability to add clickable buttons to insert in your copy.

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Have you ever had a spine-chilling incident that made your marketing blood curdle?